I watch Jersey Shore. There, I said it. And this weekend, curiosity took hold of my arm and fist pumped it all the way to Toronto's Wet Bar neither kicking, nor screaming. Word got around that both Mike "The Situation" and "DJ Pauly D" would be appearing at the venue and I got to thinking that I wanted a better understanding of the Guido fever that's sweeping North America. What is it about these boys that drive the ladies wild? And just how many ladies would show up with the now infamous "Snickers poof"?

Let me start off by saying my evidence suggests that a) The Guido look (complete with rock hard blow out, Valentino tan, rock hard abs, bedazzled shirts and "sick kicks") is what drives this breed of women completely mad and b) There were too many "frickin' poofs" to count, I seriously got poked in the eye by one of them. I made it my mission to bring to  you, dear public empirical evidence of the phenomenon that is the Jersey Style and my very own guide to Guido-dom. After all, this may not be a fading trend now that J-WOWW is selling her handkerchief shirts online and "the situation" is rumored to be coming out with a fragrance. Don't say I didn't warn you, and even try to help you stay on trend.

After escaping with a serious hangover, a sore arm, an injured eye, and what little dignity I have left, I present to you a step by step guide to achieving this high maintenance look:

1) The Blow Out

2) The "kicks"

3)  The Bedazzled shirt

4)  The Chopper sunglasses, indoors, at night (nb not actually ON your face, but hanging from it)

5) The Valentino Tan

6) The abs: (Not pictured here as I may or may not be IN the photograph and I may or may not want that image exposed online).

7) The Pose- every icon has one